It’s late I know but this afternoon I had my monthly follow up (a week early) with my psychiatrist. I’m down to six medications now after being taken off of my stimulate, which did not stimulate me whatsoever. I had a breakdown in psychiatrist office, which I’m sure he was not surprised by, however I was a little.
It almost felt like I was in a therapy appointment, not with the doc. Either way I am beyond myself. I still feel blah like I’m doing nothing, being nothing, noone. What do I do with myself besides cry and scream out in silent pain that my body is being torn apart? I see my skin moving, as though serpents are crawling/wiggling underneath my outter layer of skin. With this I also see and feel them popping out, through said skin which is just horrifying. I’d like to take any sharp object and cut them all out, but I won’t, not yet, I know they aren’t real.
But how do you tell your mind that something in which you know isn’t real is indeed not truth in existence?
Well back to my appointment…… first off the stimulate was giving me headaches and migraines, more than I already have and of course I ran out of my headache pills, so that was fun…… also it was putting me to sleep. This apparently is due in part to my sleep apnea, joy, so now I must find info on sleep study and what not.
My moods have shifted, which has been annoying and increased with fury.
Whoa all the sudden I’m extremely tired…will complete update tomorrow…
×Well it’s tomorrow and I have no idea where I was going with this post, so yeah. Right now I require help with my mind/body on what is going on with it. For one I sleep too much and anywhere, almost as though a narcoleptic would. My memory is going down the tubes. Headaches and/or migraines everyday, I don’t get a break. My patience is running thin with everything and everyone, I’m just annoyed 24/7, which has never been me until now. Ahh!
I’ll perhaps post something new later today as brain dog has hit.