It’s over already

The weekend has come and gone in a flash it seems. Tomorrow’s already Monday and it’s Memorial Day. I miss my sister, my Lindsey, she passed away while serving in the military and ever since then I have not been the same. My life changed when my bestie was taken, but I try not to think about how she went rather how she lived.

Lindsey was a nerd and she’d admit to it proudly. She was home schooled, loved God and loved her comics, her parents, and conventions. The loudest person on Earth was her, she looked quiet but oh boy you couldn’t let her pretty little face deceive you. I never played cards with her but I’d like to think she would have kicked my butt, literally.

I could write so much about her, it makes me smile, till I stop and remember she’s not here personally to throw her boots at me for cutting her hair. Priceless. Once in a lifetime.

The moment I met Lindsey in bootcamp, I knew I was in for trouble, but God never prepared me to live without her. She looked weird with short hair, and was skinny with a childish smile, how she passed the entrance exam I’d later find out. And by later I meant as soon as she opened her mouth. Words I never heard before came out, I thought another language was being spoken she should have classified for NUKE not corpsman, but I fell in love with my long lost sister at that very moment. We enlisted with the buddy system, thus attached at the hip we became, and our mama Maritza tried her hardest to seperate us, but the harder she fought the more she became entangled with us. The three musketeers were born in division 918.

So little time felt like my entire life with her by my side.

Injuries.

Exams.

Drills.

Graduation.

Surgeries.

Death.

Various moves.

Kids.

Loss.

Renewal.

Mental illness.

Etc.

T.

C.

I know she made her parents proud, and her dad would give anything to hold his daughter in his arms again. This is for you Lindsey James, HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY and thank you, there will never be enough praise from me about you.

Happy Memorial Day to all those fallen men and women. God bless

Advertisements

ECT?

ECT? Any thoughts on this? Electro Convulsive Therapy all I have heard is good for some and for others not so good. But what are some of the benefits versus the disadvantages?

G2K

#g2k

It’s G2K (Get 2 Know) day over at Revenge of Eve. Here are this week’s questions:

*Who is your hero?

My hero at the moment is my fiance, he’s traveling this bipolar, anxiety/panic, ptsd emotional road with me.

*What is their superpower?

His voice, always either soothing or harsh tone depending on what I need.

*Where was your first kiss?

Art class in middle school

*When was the first time you fell in love?

In high school

*How did you know it was love?

I couldn’t stop smiling

*Why is love important?

Love is important because it shows you there is acceptance within the world.

*Journal prompt: Write about your first love.

It’s funny, my first love is my current love. My fiance and I met in high school and started dating junior year. I couldn’t stop smiling when I was around him, even when we argued I tried to stay smiling because I was thinking we’d be together for years to come. Anthony stole my heart away, we experienced so much together in high school, from puberty to illness to death but we made it to graduation but parted some time after in my first year of college where he began working and I left to pursue a career in the military. Needless to say my first love and I found each other again after some years seperate from each other and growing up. Smiling right now….


To participate:

  • Create a post answering the above questions.
  • Title your post G2K
  • Use the header image as your image.
  • Use #g2k in your post settings
  • Create a pingback linking you to this post.
  • Write the journal prompt in your private journal or on your post.

Right now, my thought

I will never be able to get the freedom one deserves. I will always be plagued with this burden that I have been told is a blessing, bs. Never did I think I would have others thoughts and sights within me, but here it is, the black Cloak won’t let me walk away and the voices take their toll on me and the hallucinations break my spirit. You expect me to remain sane?

Briefly

They’re still around, yes my voices. No breaks today and to top it off my headaches are back. So advil and ear drops it is, laying down with the curtains drawn and it seems I may have won a brief battle.

My voices = Ear pain

When the voices hit, they hit hard and my right ear hurts more than ever, it is my bad ear after all, so yeah. I just had some ear drops put in so I’m kind of laying awarely writing this, but when inspiration hits you gotta go with it. So what is the connection with my ear and the voices I wonder, is there a connection or am I just crazier than ever?

It seems I am a bit of an annoyance, well guess what I am annoyed that I am hearing multiple voices to harm myself or others. Voices that speak ill of me. Voices that scream. Voices that never whisper unless it is to despise me to my very core. I am sick of it, maybe I should leave but where to? Oh well.

Then there’s this damn black cloak, wtf!? No it’s by the window. Damnit! I need to stay calm….

The Black Cloak -2

He’s everywhere, everywhere my sight is taken aback from within and there he, it stands, the black cloak. He, it, is everywhere just standing, mocking me, taunting me as I walk past or attempt to look past. Damn! The black cloak wont let me watch television. Damn! What is wrong, why is my brain manifesting just a thought? It only appears when an attempt on my life is about to be made, but I don’t want to leave this world yet, I just want the voices to go away!