My brother and his girlfriend visited us today and treated us to some Chinese food for dinner, it was yummy with nice conversation throughout the meal. And of course TnT were circling like sharks for scraps. I made a chocolate chip fudge cake for dessert which was also yummy.
Then the dreaded anxiety/bipolar/ptsd struck when I was getting the plates for the cake. I saw something, someone on the kitchen wall and dropped one of the plates in horror and disgust. Luckily I didn’t cut myself anywhere, but I was immobilized for a bit. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the hallucinations that occurred until I finally broke down crying.
I kept telling myself “I am fine” and all. I kept saying it until I actually believed it. But until the moment I believed it I asked Turtle to give me a Xanax and some water.
I felt bad that this happened in front of my brother and his girlfriend, though they understood, I think. I apologized once I composed myself some time later and finally tried a piece of cake.
What a day. Now time to get ready to walk TnT and get cozy for the night.