I just can’t win

Today(yesterday) was a good day, except for the fact I’m MANIC, which I actually prefer but that’s a whole other story.

I begin the day with morning meds…walked my furbaby….started the slow cooker with chili ingredients to be ready for dinner…yoga for 35min..walked to the store to get some things(some necessary, some not)…

Got back and Turtle threw in a load of clothes to wash…I forgot……I’m lucky.

Other events fell into place during afternoon hours, then I remembered Tuscany needed to go to the groomers to get her nails cut, so of course baby girl got that accomplished.

Spent the night reading Turtle’ s newest complete manuscript. I was shocked, sadden, overjoyed. He is such a great writer and I know he will get noticed soon.

Then today I woke up scared from a nightmare, which I just finished painting. Took morning meds and I failed, the anti-zombie med actually made me a zombie and I fell back to sleep until noon! So much for being manic.

After my second start to the day I was able to recover and go on with the day. It was a good day. Spent some time outside….got dinner prepared, stir-fry beef subrolls….headed to pharmacy to pick up my month supplies of bipolar meds…and of course DDs is next door so paid them a visit….

Had some studio time, where I painted another scene from a nightmare and whoa I think it is just freaky. Is there something wrong with me? I asked Turtle about my painting my nightmares and he just lovingly said no that I’m too AWESOME! That’s what’s up.

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Now we’ve been talking about this new medicine and the increased dosage of it and me being hypomanic, my increase of auditory hallucinations (voices) and not being able to tell the difference between the voices, my own thoughts, and the people ACTUALLY around me. Damn it, I’m either a zombie for 18hrs of the day or awake with louder voices. I just can’t win.

 

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