Which one do I loath more?

Of all the medicines I have tried for my bipolar disorder, and there’s quite a few, there is only one I said I would NEVER take. One that I dreaded with blood, sweat, and tears. Yes LITHIUM how I loath you.

For the ten years diagnosised bipolar, only for 4 1/2 years have I let lithium enter my body.

Upon diagnosis I was tainted. Tainted with stigma about mental illness along with the medication associated with it. I was advised that I’d be put on lithium and once I started there’d be no going back. *Talk about being brainwashed and scared out of my mind. Of course you can be taken off of it, but I regress. . . .upon hearing this I became terrified and told my first psychiatrist on this journey if they ever mentioned lithium to be ever again I’d snap their neck. *Mind you i was manic and not medicated at the point yet, but I’m sure he had heard worse.

Tremors, weakness, hair thining/damage, skin irritation, constant thirst, weight gain/loss, vomitting, loss if appetite, and the list goes on of the side effects lithium…

Anyways two psychiatrists, three therapists, and a boat load of medication later I came to my current psychiatrist. I dropped a gallon size Ziploc bag on his desk full with over 20 current and up to date prescriptions and said, “help me.”

Thus he asked if i had ever tried Lithium? No, and gave my reasonings. Let’s just say my guard came down a little, I was still apprehensive but when he ASKED if he could write me a prescription for it, I was surprised that he ASKED and too baffeled to make a stunning remark I nodded my head, took the script, and ran with some hope.

4 1/2 years later I am better with lithium in my body,  it isn’t a miracle cure but it has helped with my mania and preventing some of them. Tomorrow I go in for my monthly check with the psychiatrist, so we’ll see if anything changes. Until then…..

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