July 2016? 2017 I’m still fighting

Placeholder ImageI have lived through my dark days, the depression, anxiety, sadness, racing thoughts, suicidal thoughts, the deep darkness that only those with bipolar depression can understand, along with a select few on the outside. However, there is one thing that bothers me about this, the medication. From day one of my diagnosis I have been treated like a guinea pig taking one medication after another. I wasn’t sure I’d ever find the right dosages or cocktail, but eventually I did. I had to fight for it and I’m still fighting, as you must understand with this disorder the same medicines will not work two to three years from now and dosages are always changing. I have had to fully commit myself to recovery because at the end of the day I want to live. I read a quote in an article that made me smile, “bipolar depression, anxiety and racing thoughts lead to a stronger, compassionate, understanding self.”

I may need to bring this up on Monday when I see my psychiatrist. I’m tired of being a lab rat!

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