tuesday rant

Between the ages of 19-29 the young adult with bipolar suffers more intense symptoms than during any age bracket, said some random article I read. I remember it also stated that this is the time that the most intense mood shifts from mania to depression occur and is in result more dangerous for the individual. Well all I have to say is in my opinion, yup. 

I have used various words in the past to describe bipolar and me, the most commons ones are dealing with and suffering.

suffering

Well I have been suffering with bipolar 1 diagnosed about nine years, and undiagnosied for ten, so 19 years of my life I have had symptoms. It took these last four years to become stable with my medications, however, I relapsed three times during, cycling back and forth from mania and depression, which each a relapse decision on my life. It was not fun, it still isn’t fun. When I was stable I was content. Not happy or sad just the middle and I thought that was where I would remain.

Little did I know my struggle would remain. . .struggle

Now I am on a completely new cocktail and but still have my up and down moments, which my psychiatrist says is normal for someone like me and that I shouldn’t give up on my hope for a better tomorrow.

One of my struggles is that when I get stuck on an idea I do not drop it; I do any and everything possible in my nature to get that idea brought to life. Other people that I have met with bipolar share this same belief, even if they too are on a good cocktail.

I have a routine, I stick to it. I learned this concept the first time I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and it is the one thing I try my best ot adhere to. I take medicine everyday religiously, and I get plenty, if not too much sleep, which helps.

It has taken me lots of time throughout the years to realize that I am managing my bipolar the best I can. Just because my method works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for you or a vise a versa. I have realized that for me it is not a day to day thing, rather an hour to hour, after all isn’t that how we all live our lives? After all there is no cure for bipolar disorder, but there are plently of ways to manage.

Most people struggle for years to recieve a diagnosis, while others aren’t so lucky.

The medication game is played and I won’t be the first to admit that I felt cured various times after taking my medicine that I fell into the trap of not taking my medicine, which just sent my spiraling downwards back into office, saying I felt better so I stopped, now look at me I can barely stand the sight of my relfection in the mirror. So I then had to restart my regiment again, but like I said I’m religious with my meds now.

It’s all about acceptance.

G. Merced, left feeling confused about being shifty in the post

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