Medication is a wonderful, yet scary thing when it comes to us ingesting them for whatever aliment may or may not be wrong with us. I find it difficult to understand why we alter our bodies in such a fashion, I mean doesn’t the quote “God made you who you are suppose to be?” Like really did we all just forget this statement, or do we only choose to remember it when it is beneficial to us? Well I am both for and against this as I believe we are who we are meant to be, as well as needing some people, including myself, a boost.
I can only speak for me here with bipolar and a few other ailments I will introduce later, but medication has both helped and hurt me.
Right now medication is helping me with the depressive and manic mood elements and I am grateful. There is nothing worse than to know you are outside your body and have no control over it. The best visual aid here would be a fish out of water, flapping up and down with its mouth open trying to breathe, not being able to catch its breath, it is slowly dying and that is what it feels like to me when my cocktail no longer works.
In the past month my psychiatrist has added a new medication to my cocktail and it has been working greatly. My moods aren’t shifting so frequently, hallucinations (auditory/visual) have decreased, I’m a little more chipper and suicidal thoughts have decreased as well. Though with the side effects of headaches and impaired ability to concentrate bug me, but I’d take them while having the relief of the forgoes above.
Now the kicker to this story is something called a PRIOR AUTHORIZATION. My insurance is refusing to pay for this medication, one I greatly require to remain stable here. My doctor gave two weeks if samples and well lets just say I have two more days and then I am done. I am not sure why the insurance won’t cover it, but I am at a lost. Until next time, G.Merced purplexed.