one saying, my meaning


Your past can not hurt you anymore.

To that saying I simply say, “yeah right!” My mental disorders were hidden, diagnosis-ed and every symptom and side effect that happened then lingers into the now, haunting me. An example of this is the loss of many relationships with friends and family. Each person in these categories were inflicted with some type of pain that also stings, hurting me. I left home for basic training for the Navy and my so called best buddies said they’d keep in contact, but just as fast as I boarded the plane, our friendships ended, once I said “I
wouldn’t be able to call or write everyday.” I suppose they took it as an insult, so I proclaimed they just didn’t support my decision to fight for our country.

To this day it hurts me that I just didn’t keep my mouth shut. I could have gone about it a little differently, rather than be harshly blunt about the reality of training.

This decision may seem petty, but I know it was more than that.Another decision made that hurts me today, are the number of suicidal attempts. These times were not glamorous for me as I had reached rocks bottom. Today I have the scares, the loss of trust and the bills pilling up to hurt me. Not petty, not one damn bit!

So you tell me, my past can not hurt? G. Merced, pensive


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