Yesterdays Dealings

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I’ve been missing for a few days here, so lets see where do I begin? Well my new psychiatrist appointment was rescheduled from the twentieth to yesterday, and if you’re anything like me the day you have your psych appointment you’re drained. No matter what time it is, early morning or late afternoon I am wasted. Surprisingly I remember my notes so that I could share my thoughts and concerns with him, thanks to help from my fiance and dad.

So what were my thoughts and concerns as to seeing a new psychiatrist? First and for most, I was tired of just being seen as a paycheck. You see I became fed up with my previous doc because he basically laid it out flat for me and said, “you’re going to have to deal with it.” Now mind you bipolar, manic-depressive disorder deals with the moods and so much more, so when I was told this phrase of just dealing with the voices in my head, the visual hallucinations, rapid cycling and suicidal thoughts, loss on concentration, everyday headaches/migraines, and tremors I had had enough. When you no longer honestly feel that your psychiatrist, or any doctor for that matter, does not have your health in the best interest, you are able to go out and find someone who will.

Thus new doctor, but not so new. He’d been my doctor a few times when I was admitted into psychiatric hospital, but had yet had his own practice, so I waited, and I waited. Even when he got his own practice I did my research. So far so good, *will keep you updated.

Back on point, after a few minutes into yesterdays session, I was asked something I had never been asked, “in regards to your treatment, what are you expecting me to do?” I was dumb founded, yet my answer was already on the tip of my tongue show your compassion for the severity of my symptoms, and acknowledge that I am not alone here. I have my family and friend, so I need my doctor there to balance everything else out. Now that was the short version, the long version lasted about fifteen minutes.

Upon this evaluation two meds stayed the same, one was adjusted, two were eliminated, and two new ones introduced. So far, nothing negative to report, except that I cannot be in the heat very long, which is going to prove to be difficult living here in the sunshine state. Before I begin to repeat myself, until next time, G. Merced, confined

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